A New Resolution

It is never easy to admit defeat, but I think I have reached an all - time low with being comfortable with my body. One year ago, I would have to say I was pretty happy with the way I looked. I was curvy and confident, wearing tops that showed off my stomach or sheer shirts with a bandeau. Fast forward a year and now I am not even happy with myself in jeans and a sweatshirt. Trying on clothes for the past couple of months has sucked because nothing looks the way I want it to because I don't look the way that I want to. Trying to find outfits to wear to chapter or to wear out at night has been extremely difficult because nothing in my closet fits either (and Spanx can only do so much).

I am unhappy. And as much as I want to just roll out of bed looking great, eating whatever I want, and not working out, it's just not possible. I have to work to get myself to where I want to be.

What is my plan and how am I going to do it? First, I have to change my diet. Second, I have to change my workout habits. Third, I have to change my mindset. Fourth, I have to change my lifestyle to emcompass all of these changes and to work around other "problems".

Diet The Way I Eat
First off, I need to change the way I think about food. Food is what fuels our bodies, it is not something to be cut out or restricted. No more "diet" - food is fuel. Secondly, I need to change what I shop for, how I shop, and how I plan meals. I need to buy, prepare, and eat food that will be efficient for my body while sticking to a budget. But I also need to think about what is going to work with my lifestyle (and my habits). Some things I need to keep in mind are: that I am always running late (I need quick things to grab and go, so preferably pre-prepared meals), how much fridge/storage space I have at my apartment, my class schedule and when I will be wanting foods (so again, prepared meals I can take to class and eat on breaks, without fear of spoilage).

Get Moving
I find it extremely difficult to schedule time to work out with the way I have my weeks planned right now. Most of this is because I wait until the absolute last minute to do work for class and often I forgo sleep to do so, leaving me exhausted the next day and barely able to stay awake, much less work out. I honestly need to schedule a day where I leave my apartment and go to a coffee shop to do homework so I am not scrambling during the week. Hopefully doing this will give me some time where I can squeeze in some workouts where I wouldn't have had time before (I'm looking at you, Tuesdays between 1 and 4). I am also trying to plan workouts with friends to hold myself accountable for working out as well as being social. One friend and I usually work out on Thursday afternoons but we are hoping to start working out on Friday afternoons (I don't have class so what's my excuse?) and take a yoga class on Wednesday night. If I can schedule some kind of work out for Sunday nights and Tuesday afternoons between classes, I would be working out at least four times a week and hopefully 5!

The Way I Think
"Any workout is better than no workout." "What you eat in private shows in public." "Food is fuel." These are some of the mantras I need to repeat to myself. I skip workouts, snack "just because", and cook indulgent foods regularly because of Pinterest and food cravings. I have to tell myself that working out and eating smart is just as essential as sleeping or breathing. I need to think positive about these things because the more I tell myself that, the more it's going to stick in my head and motivate me. I also need to think about my choices - Why am I choosing to eat this? What is the motivation behind this? Why am I craving this? Is there a different option on the menu that would satisfy my craving just as well but fit in better with the foods I want to be fueling my body with? Why am I not working out? What am I doing that is more important than my health? Mostly I need to stop beating myself up and instead bring myself up.

Changing My Lifestyle
This encompasses all of the changes I want to make but also goes beyond into other areas of my life. What lifestyle changes do I want to make? Planning my shopping list and menu for the week in advance (cut down on impulse buys, impulse indulgences, and trips to the grocery store), cutting back on eating out but also making smarter choices when I do, scheduling in meal prep time, adding in more workouts to my week, taking a day out of my weekend and spending it at a coffee shop to get work done in advance to "free up" other time in my week. I also probably need to go through my Pinterest food boards and clean those up as well... I spend too many late nights drooling over food pins. Yikes. I also need to clean out my shelf in our pantry and once I finish eating what I have (gotta work existing products in in moderation), I will have to keep it stocked with healthy choices instead of boxes of mac & cheese, packages of ramen, and cheesy crackers.

Wish me luck - and let me know if you are on a similar journey!